The names have been removed for liability reasons

Last night I was bored. I was so bored I went to bed early on a Saturday night and despite having trouble falling asleep, dozed off after midnight.

4:02 am
Someone's knocking at my door, I wonder who that could be. Why it's our friendly campus police officer. He's just stopped by to inform me that they found my roommate "fucked up on acid". Well isn't that nice of them.

Freeze frame for a moment. This is the part where I realize I'm not wearing pants.

Okay, roll film...

After being assured it was okay if I put on some pants, I invited the officer in. We had a little chat about how little I knew of the boy and just moved here. His memory must not be good though cause he asked me everything twice. Meanwhile he did what he called a "visual" search of the room. I made sure he felt free to look about the place, especially in the spots I clearly pointed out as *his*. Apparently the lad had been sharp enough to tell them it came from a visine bottle. After finding one such bottle oddly placed in the back of an underwear drawer. and performing a simple test and being disappointed it didn't turn purple, they apologized for waking me and went on their way. They didn't seem to think they'd be back, something about him being freaked out by the paramedic's lights.

Just to make it a lovely evening, I crawl back in bed and get all comfy again. Just as I started getting comfortable I let out one of my patented "I'm awake!" flatulents . In case you didn't already know, I have the unique physical trait of not really being fully awake in the mornings until this magical event occurs.

I promise to not be bored again.