James E. Walker here I come!

It's finally over! I just sent in my last assignment and am entirely finished for the semester. I would like to celebrate but apparently this guy beat me to it.

*CENSORED* Girls Gone Wild, Honolulu

The previous photo has been removed per the request of one of the individuals shown. To anyone who may have been offended or disturbed by the imagery of two girl's faces I apologize. To all those who laughed, I'm sorry too.

Choke on it

Remember how I mentioned before that every other person in Nashville is a musician? Well this is as much a curse as it is anything.

Saying that I'm busy this week would be an understatement. On Thursday I have 3 midterms and 2 papers due. I had to work 8 hours on Monday, today I had class from 8 until 6 and now have to work from 7 till midnight. Tomorrow I have to work for 4 hours and then am going to help my step brother move some furniture to prepare for his move I am helping with on Thursday night. For one of my tests I still need to read about 100 pages in a history text, then write a paper which must include 2 critical sources I have yet to find, and our library closes at midnight.

So what does this have to do with musicians you might be wondering? While stuck here at work needing to be reading and or writing, a fellow lab assistant is playing guitar. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if he didn't play loud as well as be terrible. It's a good thing he is studying animation I suppose. Now pardon me while I learn how effective a guitar string really is at strangling a person.

I'm employable!

That's right, I've finally got a job. It's a good thing too, cause I've been broke since... wait, when wasn't I broke? Anyways, starting Monday I will be a Electronic Media Communications lab checkeriner person, whatever that means. Who cares! All I know is I check a list of names to see if I can let a person into a lab and get paid for it (this means I don't have to deal with profs who don't know where their class is). Sweet! I would like to give my condolences to those at the James E. Walker Library especially in the Microtext department. I was rooting for you but at the last moment you were out bid by 9 hours a week. Anyone reading this at the Media Center, by chance do you think UT would be willing to supplement the difference in pay between universities? Ah, I'll just assume they're already on top of it and the checks will be in the mail.

In other news, I'm the greatest student ever. Who knew that having over 6 years of college experience would make you at least appear to be the smartest person in the room of a freshman level class? There are actually fellow students who tell people to shut up so they can hear what I have to say. I would like to think it's because when I speak they have come to expect to have their budding minds enveloped by my sage like wisdom and awe striking understanding of the universe. That or I'm the old guy who is not annoying like the old woman but did end the discussion in class with talking about poop.

Beer and eggs

When I started writing here my original intent was just to keep family and friends up to date with how school was going away from home. Little did I know there would be genuine hazards to write about. That being said, on with the show.

When I first visited MTSU to take care of everything before coming, I met with my adviser, whom I'll refer to as Doc from this point forward. Doc was very helpful in not only giving me solid advice about my classes but as well with resolving any issues I had come up during registration and so on. We also had an enjoyable chat and he has kept in touch since then. The other day he even sent me an email saying he would be on campus on Saturday and that I should stop by because he wants to know how my semester is going. Sure, why not, I'm not doing anything else.

So I trot over to his office that day and we talk for awhile. I learn some interesting things about the department, etc. Stemming from a previous conversation about eating habits, the topic eventually turned to a friend of his constantly making claims about what he can fit in his mouth or how quickly he can eat something and so on. A speculated about the plausibility of some of the claims and then was essentially challenged to back this up. We'd also talked about preferences in beer and he suggested I go eat and meet him back a little later and we go out to his place and he'd buy some beer he liked from when he was in England and Germany. While seeming slightly odd I went along with it.

Now at his place and having talked for awhile and had a few drinks, Doc decides it's high time I be tested on these series of feats. It was things such as can I eat a whole Krystal in a single bite, swallow a whole orange slice (okay, I had claimed that one previously) and place a whole egg in my mouth. Mind you up until this point I had already been feel a little uncomfortable with the whole going to someones place and having drinks. He is going to be one of my professors eventually after all. Everything was fine though up until... (and yes, you knew there would be an up until in here somewhere didn't you) he felt it necessary to sit in the floor between my legs and rest his arms on my thighs while he watched to see if I could put things into my mouth.

Yeah, I know what you're thinking. What the hell am I doing right? Well I'll tell you what I was doing. I was maintaining the posture that this was all rather benign. The mean while my thought process is along the lines of, "But I don't wanna be a Wonder Boy." and periodically I would mention my girlfriend in the conversation. I'll leave it up to the reader to interpret for themselves the nature of all this.

Eventually I brought up how late it was, there was talk of having to do this again sometime yadda yadda, thanks for the beer, and I went home!

I have a feeling if you could get insurance for this line of work, my premium would have just gone up.

Property of the State

After a pleasant visit home for the weekend, it is nice to be back in my institution.

By institution I don't mean this place of higher learning, I refer instead to my institutionalized state of living. I live in a cinder block room that is approximately 15" x 8". I share a community bathroom. Each floor of the facility has an appointed warden. My meals are provided for me three times a day in which I am treated to a selection of nutritious and well balanced foods. I move about the compound to my designated places of instruction at their designated times. While I am allowed contact with my loved ones, they may visit only on a limited basis and they are no longer conveniently located.

Being a creature of habit, this lifestyle is almost preferable to the tribulations which come with life on the outside. My power, cable, phone and internet are on when I arrive and I never receive a bill. The baths are cleaned on a daily basis. Perhaps most appreciated, I never have the ordeal of deciding what or where to eat.

The major distinctions between my accommodation and prison is riots and gang rapes are only on the weekends and I can leave anytime I want. What more could I ask for?

Movin' on up

After my joyous incident over the weekend, I had determined that Monday morning I would fortify myself within the Housing office until they gave me a different room. Well apparently they knew I was coming. Shortly after Bess woke me up with a phone call about how to replace a headlight, Housing called me to confirm that my original request (he smoked too) had been fulfilled for a room change. Yay!

So I boxed all my stuff up and moved it all of 4 rooms down the hall. I'm in 318 now if you want to send a candy gram or something. The lil punk has been replaced with Derek, the guitar player. That's right, low and behold you move to Nashville and yes, every other person really is a musician. Derek however has gotten into country music all of 6 months ago, and now the band he plays for has an international distribution deal with Sony, and he has shows in Illinois this weekend. First the Backstreet Boys, now...Derek. Oh, he's a RIM major like everyone else here, though apparently he'll be giving that up as soon as he's a rich and famous musician. Well, at least I can say I lived with him even if only for a little while. Maybe I'll at least get a free album.

edit (added later): When I was settling in I pulled out my webcam. Unable to resist, I went up to Derek and said, "Oh, I hope you don't mind, I do a little internet porn", with cam in hand. I could only resist laughing for a moment due to the shocked look on his face. He then refused my offer to help him make a few extra bucks.

The names have been removed for liability reasons

Last night I was bored. I was so bored I went to bed early on a Saturday night and despite having trouble falling asleep, dozed off after midnight.

4:02 am
Someone's knocking at my door, I wonder who that could be. Why it's our friendly campus police officer. He's just stopped by to inform me that they found my roommate "fucked up on acid". Well isn't that nice of them.

Freeze frame for a moment. This is the part where I realize I'm not wearing pants.

Okay, roll film...

After being assured it was okay if I put on some pants, I invited the officer in. We had a little chat about how little I knew of the boy and just moved here. His memory must not be good though cause he asked me everything twice. Meanwhile he did what he called a "visual" search of the room. I made sure he felt free to look about the place, especially in the spots I clearly pointed out as *his*. Apparently the lad had been sharp enough to tell them it came from a visine bottle. After finding one such bottle oddly placed in the back of an underwear drawer. and performing a simple test and being disappointed it didn't turn purple, they apologized for waking me and went on their way. They didn't seem to think they'd be back, something about him being freaked out by the paramedic's lights.

Just to make it a lovely evening, I crawl back in bed and get all comfy again. Just as I started getting comfortable I let out one of my patented "I'm awake!" flatulents . In case you didn't already know, I have the unique physical trait of not really being fully awake in the mornings until this magical event occurs.

I promise to not be bored again.

Oranges

So today I found out why my $2000 Powerbook only works with one memory card. It's a problem I noticed soon after I got it over a year ago but assumed it was something I'd done to it. It turns out it's an issue with most 1.5GHz/1.67 GHz Powerbooks that Apple has recognized yet has been only willing to repair a very select few, of which mine does not fall into.

It took a petition just to get those few fixed.

So yeah, along with being lied to about how the highly prices Apple Care extends your warranty, when in fact it just provides extended customer support I've been less than satisfied with the company so many zealots seem to think makes only a far superior product. Granted, I like OS X, but even it they can't keep balanced. I won't get into their inability to garner driver support from major peripheral manufacturers.

What does any of this have to do with me being a student? I guess that I bought it from UT's computer store, where I was blatantly lied to about the Apple Care package (I found out about that when I took it into an Apple store for a repair, silly me) as well I listened to people "in the know", such as library IT people in making my decision to buy it. Plus, I'm a starving college student (well, no longer starving since I spent my last dime on an unlimited meal plan...mmm, stuffed my gut) and can't afford to be spending money on things that don't work. Period. Thank you Apple for your over hyped products, the world needs more glorified feces.

The inititaion ritual

So yeah, I'm still in school. More specifically, at a new school. If for some strange reason someone who doesn't know me reads this, a brief update...I went to Berea College for 3 semesters after high school, came home, transfered to UT Knoxville after being out for over a year, that place sucked for the whole 5 years I was there and now I'm at MTSU. What's wrong with me you might ask? The world, my creditors, loved ones, my dog, they've all asked the same question. Perhaps an answer could be, I'm symptomatic, but that doesn't really explain anything and probably isn't even accurate, so who knows. Ask Bess, she's the one who under her own volition actually requests my presence. Silly girl.

Anyways, this is clearly about me being a student, so lets get to some studenty things. Today was my second real day of classes (I only have Tuesday Thursday classes, way to go me) and I've gotten a feel of what I'm up to here now. First, I've discovered what it means to audit a course, which of course means you don't really DO anything, or get anything in return. Despite that I get up to be there at 8 am. Hey, if I were smart, would I still be in school? I've also come to realize that, despite the full mental capacity of my fellow students, college students are clueless. I don't think I'm all knowing, in fact, I feel rather poorly read, but I'm the only person out of usually 20 that can answer a simple question. There is of course the exception, being the 40 year old woman in my comp class that can't shut up yet is unable to formulate a concise sentence, let alone an intelligent though. Oh, and in that class, the instructor has had the pleasure of reassuring me that extreme liberal bias is alive and well in our universities.

Tonight I have been requested to attend a dorm meeting, yay! This is were I'll get to meet the boy at least 6 years my junior who not only wants to be my pal, but also has authority over my current "home". Perhaps here people will realize I'm...old. I can't tell if either people aren't aware, or if with my fogeyness is setting in and I'm unaware of their snickers as I pass.

Perhaps next time I'll write about something someone would actually care to read about. Maybe I'll even start a sister blog about things people care about, or maybe I'll jsut do like Nick suggested, and write about being bald, which by the way, it's cold outside.